The Power of Praying with your Wife.
Our First Prayer
I can remember times in my life when prayer wasn't important to me. I would pray when I felt guilty about something, before dinner to be polite, or to ask for some foolish request—without understanding who I was talking to or what I was even saying. Over the years, I often looked to God to save me or to open doors I wanted to walk through.
Since those days, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown as a man, a husband, and a father in ways I can’t even explain. I’ve come to know the King in a deep, personal way.
The story I’m about to share is about the first time I chose to pray with my bride. That moment changed my entire perspective on prayer and how God sees me—and us. It’s a story of triumph, celebration, and the complete destruction of who I was as a man at the time. I’m deeply thankful for that hardship and for what the King taught me through it.
This story takes place in Millbrook, Alabama, around March of 2018. At the time, my wife was an ICU nurse at a large hospital in Montgomery. We had agreed we’d wait a few years before having children. We’d been married for about a year or so.
One day, Cara went to work as usual and found herself caring for a young man recovering from a routine surgery. Tragically, due to complications, he passed away in that ICU room—leaving behind his pregnant wife, who was in her early 30s.
While death in the ICU isn’t uncommon, something about that moment struck a deep chord in my wife. Watching that young, pregnant woman mourn the loss of her husband stirred a strong longing for motherhood in Cara. She came home, shared the story with me, and expressed her desire to start a family.
A woman’s desire for children is like nothing else I’ve experienced. To them, it’s their purpose, their calling—what God intended for them. The ups and downs of trying to have a baby can be extremely emotional for your wife. I think many men struggle to fully understand that—I know I did at the time. Thankfully, God would later soften my heart and open my eyes to my wife's emotional needs, but that’s a story for another time.
At this point in our marriage, I can’t recall a time when Cara and I had ever truly prayed together—not deeply or emotionally. But we decided to start trying to conceive. She stopped taking birth control, and like any young married couple, we got to work.
About 30 days in, I found myself chatting with my Grandad, which was something we often did. He was always a steady source of wisdom for me, gently guiding me toward the King. I told him we’d been trying to have a baby for a couple of weeks, and I shared how I didn’t fully understand Cara’s emotional needs—or how to help her.
His advice was simple: “You should pray with her.”
At that time, I often prayed for my wife—but I had never prayed with her. I didn’t know how she’d respond. I wasn’t sure what she’d think or how uncomfortable it might be. But then, Grandad dropped a bit of truth that shook me.
He asked, “Do you know what marriage is?”
Like a fool, I said, “Of course.”
He went on to explain that marriage is when God joins two people together—that in His eyes, we are no longer individuals, but one. So his solution was clear: go together to the feet of the King with our concerns. Ask Him for peace.
I was nervous to bring it up to Cara, but I didn’t know what else to do. One thing I had learned by then was that I wasn’t enough—not on my own. So one night before bed, sitting in our room, I asked her if I could pray for the baby. I asked if I could pray with her—for our future family—and ask the King of Kings for guidance and peace.
She agreed.
I prayed, nervously, asking the Lord to show us the way. Thirty days later, Cara was pregnant.
“Overjoyed” doesn’t even begin to describe how we felt. I couldn’t believe it. We prayed together—and she got pregnant. It was the beginning of God leading my family through me, guiding me on how to love my wife the way He intended.
God gave us hope—not just for the future, but hope in Him. At the time, I didn’t realize how much we would need that hope, or how deeply we would need Him in the months to come. He would sharpen me into the warrior I needed to be.
Now, looking back, I can see how God was preparing us to trust Him.
Next week, I’ll tell you the story of Wiley—how he completely changed who I am and how I came to truly know God. The King used, and is still using, this little bitty baby to transform me into a full-fledged warrior. I am so proud to be his dad.
With love,
Dalton Darnell